Welcomed Comfort
by speedfanatic05
Summary: When she needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there, waiting and expecting to comfort her…


Welcomed Comfort

Speedfanatic05

Spoilers: 5.12 – Internal Affairs, missing scene

Pairing: Horatio/ Natalia

Disclaimer: Not mine, don't have a conniption

A/N: This is for Mari, because of her undying pursuit of a song- and well, I'm kinda scared of her… Thanks, Mari! ;)

He watched her as she continued to piece together their lives, slowly taking the things and placing them in the box. A moment before, he had consoled her, the realization of Nick's death finally hitting her head on. The day had been a myriad of events, starting with Natalia's arrest, and subsequent interrogation, shining a false light of guilt on her. The more she talked the worst her situation had become, until finally, the real culprit was found, releasing Natalia and exonerating her. The problem, of course, was that Natalia had been released to her own sense of guilt. Despite the violence that was their marriage, the love was still hidden deeply inside of her, and one emotional misstep brought it all back to the surface. Admittedly, it had been a mistake, but Natalia couldn't have helped it. Nick was her husband, her love, and just like a bad habit, he was hard to put down.

Entrenched in her thoughts, she didn't see Horatio lean in and take the box into his own hands. She felt her chest well up with sorrow as she attempted to raise her head; her eyes closed tightly against the tears that she was sure would shower her face. There were many things that Natalia wasn't proud of, and one of them was being the center of attention in a murder investigation. Never in a million years did she want to expose the lab to anymore harsh criticism, but here she was, once again putting the lab's reputation at stake. She could barely lift her eyes to Horatio, for fear of seeing that expression of disappointment that she had become so used to in her life. A sigh released before she spoke, the heaviness seeming to grow at her discontent that he was even there with her. She was, at the moment, at least to herself, unworthy of comfort.

"Horatio, you don't have to do that," she said, opening her eyes finally. An unsteady hand pushed through her long brown hair and she shifted her weight, catching his gaze. "I can manage."

Horatio smiled at her faintly as he shook his head, "Natalia…I'm here not out of duty, but because you need it. You won't be alone in this."

Natalia gazed at him, seeing what the surviving families of their victims possibly saw. She saw the perfect compassion, the kindness, the determination to see things through. She saw the comfort that he exuded, the comfort, that despite her feelings of not being deserving of it, she welcomed. A hint of a smile protruded as she pulled a sliver of her hair back behind her ear, conceding for the moment, the need for help.

"Thanks."

"No worries," Horatio said as he squared the box of memories and stood away from her. She smiled more and started walking towards the door, stopping as if remembering something at the last moment. "Natalia?"

"I forgot, they impounded my car. I can't get it until tomorrow morning," she expressed frustratingly, "Yet another milestone in this day from hell."

"I don't mind giving you a ride home, Ms. Boa Vista."

"I- I couldn't ask you to do that, Horatio. I have to drop this box off at his mother's. She's expecting that tonight."

"No worries," Horatio repeated his blue eyes lighting somewhat as he gestured for her to walk again. " And I will pick you up tomorrow if you need."

"Horatio…" Natalia stated before getting cut off by his stern gaze. Thinking better of it, she nodded and started walking, opening the door and holding it. She pursed her lips as her emotions began to swell once more. Getting over this wasn't going to be easy, no matter how wonderful her lieutenant was being to her.

She walked side by side with Horatio down the corridor, sure that all eyes were on her, and deservingly so. Her personal life had been paraded through the halls of the lab for everyone to see, the dirtiness of her divorce from Nick being common knowledge and even the deceit on her part with sleeping with Nick once more, despite knowing that Valera was seeing him. Thankfully, the DNA analyst had forgiven her, even after her own turn in the interrogation chair, but still the knowledge that she had done that to her good friend placed another well weighted burden on her shoulders. Horatio noticed instantly, the tension rolling off of her and shook his head at her.

"Never mind them," he simply said as they rounded the corner, heading to the atrium. She noticed Eric as he stood at the desk sergeant's desk, retrieving a message, and yet again, her heart felt heavy. He was brought into this mess solely because he chose to defend her honor by socking Nick in the corridor of the lab.

_Yet another life almost ruined because of me, _Natalia thought as she dipped her head. Why was it that she seemed to have a knack for destroying things? _Because, that's what Nick said I was only good for, s_he responded, her mind traveling back to the past. Nick could be a bastard one day, and a gentleman the next, and god help her, Natalia still found herself loving him.

"Natalia?" Horatio asked as he stood by the door. The informal tone he had started taking with her surprised her somewhat as she lifted her head, her eyes wide with that surprise. He registered the expression and was about to express his apologies when she placed a hand on his arm, reassuring him that it was okay. She moved through the door with him behind her, the heaviness seeming to abate some.

The ride to Nick's mother's house was peppered with light conversation, but mostly filled with the reflective silence. Natalia gazed out of the windows of Horatio's Oldsmobile, smirking at the fact that he even owned something other than a Hummer. The humor quickly dispersed though at the sight of the impending dusk, the sun sinking in the western horizon almost too fast for her liking. The darkness would signify that this was real, and it was going to end at one point and time, and Horatio wouldn't be there, leaving her alone to her devices and her guilt. She placed a hand on her knee, realizing that she'd rather not be alone tonight, but also that Horatio couldn't stop his life on the count of her. It just wouldn't be right for her to continue to ask and take from them, giving them nothing in return but heartache.

"Is this the turn?" Horatio asked, pulling her from her fugue state.

"Um…yeah," Natalia responded as she recognized the simple clean lines of Mrs. Townsend's home. Her husband had passed years ago, leaving her very well to do, cushioning her son's lifestyle and providing her with one she would've never thought she'd see. It wasn't until four years into her marriage that Mrs. Townsend had cut Nick out of her life after hearing first hand of his violent ways towards Natalia. Even after the divorce, her relationship with her son never really rebounded, but Natalia found herself in good graces with the woman. The fact that she was taking Nick's effects to his mother's caused another pang in her heart, not for guilt this time, but for pure grief. Nick, despite his horrible treatment of her, was still someone's son, and Madeline Townsend was still a mother who had lost her son. All of this was starting to lay itself heavily on Natalia.

The car stopped and the porch light illuminated simultaneously, the door opening seconds later. In the door frame stood Madeline, her dark hair pulled back in a neat bun displaying her strands of gray hair. Where Nick had piercing, dastardly blue eyes, Madeline's were soft, full of compassion, much like Horatio's. The faded smile that she wore strained across her face as she placed her hands in front of her, wringing them slightly. Natalia sighed heavily as she glanced to Horatio, the box firmly in his grasp as he moved from the car, her own gait unsteady. The worst part was now to face her.

Natalia put her best face forward, her smile strained as well as she appeared before the woman, reaching almost awkwardly to take her into an embrace. She could feel the emergence of tears as she pressed her lids together, the familiar scent of an heirloom perfume wafting up to meet her. It was then that the incredible times with Nick surfaced, flashing before her closed eyes. Her body began to shake and she pulled apart just before the moment of release. She couldn't afford to do this here, not now. Wordlessly, she looked to Horatio who handed her the box and stood back as she thrust the box out to her. Madeline looked quickly into the box and back up to her, her eyes glittering with the unspent tears of many years passed. Her son was dead, even though he had some issues to overcome, he was still apart of her, and he was no more.

Natalia took her into an embrace once more, the need for words still escaping her. Quickly, she pulled away and turned, heading for Horatio's car. Getting in, she watched as Madeline waved and turned back into her house, her movements slow and steady. Natalia could've offered more, but at the moment, there was nothing. She was emotionally numb.

Again the silence was palpable in the car as it wove through the streets of Miami, the nightlife beginning to appear as the sun finally completed its journey to the ends of the horizon. All Natalia wanted now was to escape to the confines of her home, and shroud herself with her covers, blocking out the world. But even as she was thinking this, she knew that it wouldn't be that easy. Nick would still be there, as he always had been, in the back of her mind, taunting her. The 'incredible memories' of him were still fresh and the quickening of her heart told her that tonight, she couldn't be alone. In her disparity, she didn't know what she was capable of.

The car came to rest in her driveway and Horatio stared straight ahead, venturing to set his eyes on her after he heard the soft snapping of the seat belt. He could tell instantly from her sorrow laden eyes, that she was in dire need of support, and he could no more leave her now, than he could ignore a plea for help.

"Natalia," Horatio started as he switched the engine off, unbuckling his seat belt. He already knew that she was going to try and convince him that she was alright enough to stay on her own, and he was fully prepared to argue his point. He repositioned himself so that he was facing her head on, seeing the heaviness sitting about her.

"Would you stay, Horatio?" she asked, staring at the console in front of her. Her voice was unsteady, yet precise, the question being the only thing she had been sure of. Loneliness just wasn't an option. "I mean, you don't have to, if you have something else, somewhere else you have to be…"

"Nat," Horatio paused, his eyebrows rising somewhat, "There is no place I'd rather be at the moment."

Natalia nodded and opened the door, grabbing her keys out of her bag, getting out in one fluid motion. She saw as Horatio had gotten out and waited for her to cross the front of his car before starting up the pathway to her door, his hand hovering over the small of her back. Relief washed over her as she reached her door, happy in the fact that she wouldn't have to enter her home alone tonight, that he had been there.

As with the majority of the evening, the entrance into her home was silent, she walking in before him, hoping that her home didn't reflect the portions of her private life that had become so public. Flipping the switch, she moved to place her bag down, her forward motion continuing, walking into the kitchen.

"You want some tea? It won't take long," she said quickly, opening cabinets, busying herself with the tea. Her mind raced as she frantically gathered the materials. She couldn't seem to stand still, having the inclination to keep moving, realizing that she was doing so to ward off the impending stillness that would finally come to claim her. She didn't want to concede to that stillness, knowing that the pain would be almost too much to bear. So much had happened; so much had been on the edge of being lost. She didn't want to allow that reality just yet.

Horatio keyed in to her flurry of activity and approached her from behind, his voice almost inaudible, "Natalia, take it easy."

Natalia stopped moving, placing her hands on the ceramic tile of her counter, closing her eyes. Her resolve shattered and finally, she released the wave that had been building since finding out that Nick was dead. The tears streamed down as her body shook and she let go of the counter top, turning to Horatio, the pain finally taking root deep within. Horatio looked upon her sadly and then slowly took her into his arms, holding her tightly. It was within his arms that she finally felt safe enough to pour out her emotions and her cries began to grow, her own arms encircling his neck. She could feel his hands stroking her back softly, as if trying to coax the sorrow out of her.

"Natalia, it's going to be okay," he whispered into her ear. The sincerity and hope that was laced in his voice caused Natalia to cry more, the tears dropping heavily onto his shoulder, his shoulder that despite his own loss, perpetrated through time, was still strong. "It hurts now, but…but it will get better."

Pulling away from Horatio she looked into his expressive blue eyes seeing the belief rooted strong in them. Nodding, she acknowledged his wisdom through experience, and wiped at her eyes, sniffling. She wished that she had even an ounce of his courage. Another silence fell between them and Horatio reached up, his hand caressing her cheek, a small smile appearing.

"You are strong, Natalia. You will get through this."

"I don't feel very strong, Horatio," she replied, her voice thick with emotion, her hand going to his. The heat transferred from his touch comforted her even more, a heavy breath releasing, "I'm not strong at all, actually."

"I beg to differ," Horatio countered gently, his eyes crinkling. "With all you've been through, you're still here. You're still standing. Through everything life has hit you with, you still remain."

Natalia remained silent, keeping her eyes on him, another surge of emotion pounding through her. She had to admire him for trying, but she recognized early on that her stubborn streak was the strength she relied on. It was pure stubbornness that had kept her from faltering, but even now, when she needed it the most, she couldn't find it. This had been the last straw and it had been overwhelming. One tear escaped and she leaned into him, seeking refuge in his arms once more.

After what seemed like an eternity, the embrace was broken and Horatio took her by her hand and led her to the living room, sitting her down. Confused, she gazed at him as he took off his suit coat and folded it neatly, placing it on the opposite chair.

"Horatio, I have tea to prepare…"

"Rest, Natalia."

"But you don't know where anything is," Natalia protested, sitting up further, even as he was gently pushing her backwards.

"I'll manage," Horatio simply returned, taking the throw from behind her. He opened it and covered her with it, "Now, relax."

Natalia watched as he disappeared into her kitchen, the sat back in the chair. She could hear him busy, the cabinets opening and closing as he searched for the remaining items needed. "Mugs are in the cabinet by the refrigerator," she called out, stifling a yawn. Her eyes became heavy and she slowly sank more into the chair, her breathing slowing. Finally, rest had claimed her.

Moments later, Horatio returned with two steaming cups of tea, finding Natalia fast asleep. A smirk appeared as he put the cups down on the coffee table and moved to her, covering her completely with the throw. She changed positions and then settled back in, her expression of sorrow melting into one of peace. Horatio sat in the opposite chair, his eyes remaining on her sleeping form. His experience with the devastation of losing a loved one to death was extensive, and it was what was keeping him by her side. He meant what he said that she wasn't going to be alone. He would be there in the morning when she woke. When she needed a shoulder to cry on, he would be there, waiting and expecting to comfort her. It was what he knew to do.

Fin


End file.
